Our fourth visit ended up being a big miscommunication. We've had a lot of coordination issues between our family, as well as between the four of us. Normally, we spend time with our family on Sunday nights, but we couldn't one night and rescheduled to Friday April 11. When we arrived, we found that a member of our family (the husband) was missing. Since they speak very little English to begin with, it was difficult for his wife, Hoy Lin Par, to explain that he was not there. Because not everybody was present and because she was so clearly uncomfortable with us being there without her husband, we decided to leave and ease her worries.
I wish that our family was able to understand more English; it would help a lot with how much they disclose about themselves and the degree to which they reduce uncertainty. Instead of telling us that her husband was out and that she was uncomfortable with us being there without him, Hoy Lin Par had to rely on the nonverbal part of communication to relay to us that she was not comfortable and her husband was not there.
We learned a bit about interpreting nonverbal communication in this visit; we stayed for about five minutes, and that was all it took for each of us to realize that our presence was not exactly desirable at the moment. The door to their apartment was locked and Hoy Lin Par asked who was there before opening the door, and then was clearly uncomfortable with us being there without her husband present. Her figure was hunched, her eyes were averted, and she was extremely quiet. When we said we were leaving, her relief was evident through her smile and opening the door for us. This was not insulting at all; Hoy Lin Par is much more introverted and less talkative than her husband, and we completely understood.
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